i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He did a backflip because drugs
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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