Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize