stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
