I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
