Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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