i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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