we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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