I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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