So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
