Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize