um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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