The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
