help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
