i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
lets start a swedish sibling band together
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
