And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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