3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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