she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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