I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
my poor anus
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
