my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
