It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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