NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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