You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
