hotel room ftw
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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