called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize