we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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