So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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