What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
