Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he shaved USA in his pubs
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
