There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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