it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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