At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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