Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize