im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize