Little spoons don't ask big questions
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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