I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
