More tranny stories later!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
