I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Found the puke drawer
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
