you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
