Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
