It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
