I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
