Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
