Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I showed him my bush... on skype.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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