New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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