i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we're so committed to being not committed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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