is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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