Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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