whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
