ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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