I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
