yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
