11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
