apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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