is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
