I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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