Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize