im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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