I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
