We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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