what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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