"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
