Me too!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
