didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
